Or Hardly Working. Whichever.

Customer: “Hi. Um… do you carry… uh… cock rings?”

Me: “We do! I’ve got metal and leather rings on this endcap, and there are silicone rings above the display on the back wall.”

Customer: “Oh. Thanks. Um… how do I… how do I tell which ones will fit?”

Me: “Well…” [insert incredibly explicit yet somehow still professional explanation of how cock rings work here] “… and then just divide by pi, and you’ll have the correct diameter.”

Customer: “Wow. Okay, then. So… am I allowed to… um… I mean, is it okay if… if I try some on?”

Me: “Sure. The dressing room is right behind these curtains.”

Customer: [struggles with curtains]

Me: “Here, let me help with–”

Customer: “AAAHHH!!!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Oh. You meant… help with the curtains.”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I did.”

He eventually picked out a ring that (I assume) fit well, and after he paid, he tipped me a couple of bucks for “working so hard.” I think it was really for “working so hard not to judge me,” but I have way too much retail experience to let customers know when I’m openly judging them.

Regardless, it was a very nice gesture on his part. Plus it was the first time a customer left me something that wasn’t an empty beer bottle or a growing sense of disillusionment with the human race.

Much obliged, my twitchy new friend.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

2 thoughts on “Or Hardly Working. Whichever.”

  1. Oh my gosh! I used to work in Ye Olde Shoppe of Dildos. I was one of the surly girls who got naked behind glass in the back. I knew all the good action was up front. We didn’t allow try-ons but that does make me question if people asked to “try on” (in?) various phallic objects or even non-phallus shaped objects because like I said, I worked there I know THINGS.

    Liked by 1 person

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