Aleister Crowley’s Book of the Burn

There’s a new website called Sarahah bouncing around Facebook at the moment, and it’s stirring up strong reactions on both ends of the emotional spectrum. The point of the site is to garner constructive criticism: Once you register, friends and acquaintances can post their honest opinions of you. Anonymously. WTF could possibly go wrong with that?

Sarahah was apparently designed as an online suggestion box for companies wanting impartial feedback from their employees, but at some point it made the jump to social media, ostensibly because sadomasochism is far more prevalent in modern society than most would care to admit. I did not have any plans to create a Sarahah account myself, but once word of the virtual slam book spread, people started posting scathing critiques of people who create Sarahah accounts (“WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!? THEY’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!” etc.), so of course I signed right up.

Truth be told, I really didn’t know what kind of responses I would get. I guess I figured there would be some obligatory niceties, maybe someone would call me fat, and that would be about it. But then the comments started rolling in, and damned if they didn’t exceed all expectations:

I stole some of your sperm a few years ago, never built up the nerve to tell you I had your child.

Who is that looking over your shoulder?

Halloween isn’t for seeing how many ballsacks you can fit in your mouth, Brenda.

When I grow up, I want to be just like you! For reals! Also, I sometimes watch you for uncomfortably long periods of time.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Conclusion: My life is teeming with the mentally disturbed. But on the upside, I’m very lucky to be blessed with friends who know when not to take me seriously, and for that I am anonymously grateful.

Author: Thumper

Thumper (Horkos) Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a Discordian Episkopos, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public.

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