Do Not Leave Lit Customers Unattended

450Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “That’s lube.”

Customer: “In a candle?!

Okay. For the sake of argument, let’s assume that this is in fact a candle instead of a tub full of thickened mineral oil. How would one a) get the lube into it, and b) get the lube out during sexy time? It seems like the obvious light-and-drip method would either a) leave welts, or b) start a really inconvenient inferno, but maybe that’s just me.

I leave it to you, dear readers, to decide and explain.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

6 thoughts on “Do Not Leave Lit Customers Unattended”

  1. The links that WordPress puts on the bottom of your posts are hysterical. One of the previous ones had a link to a Bible based post. Today there’s a coconut based lube review (understandable link) and a post about an NRA gun training class. WordPress seems to understand you are in Texas but not too much else!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Checking back to read your comment, there’s now one for Jiffy LUBE (um, no, not the same thing, WordPress) and a course to make sure your rifle is prepared for winter. Not a euphemism. It really is fun to see how bad their algorithms can be.


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