An Epic Lack of Clapping Back

Customer: [gesturing to the solvents, attempting to look sly] “Are these… what I think they are?”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “How much is a small bottle?”

Me: “$12.99.”

Customer: “Would you take $10?” [flashes ten-dollar bill like he’s trying to bribe a maître d’]

Me: “No, I would not.”

He ended up buying a bottle anyway, but you know what kills me? When he offered the $10, I didn’t even think to give him a knowing look and say, “Yes… yes, I would,” and then pull out the actual nail polish remover I keep under the counter specifically for occasions just like this one.

Clearly, I’ve gotten soft and slow in my dotage. I’m going to have to arrange for some kind of alarm to trigger whenever customers leave themselves open for savaging.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

6 thoughts on “An Epic Lack of Clapping Back”

  1. I don’t understand why the fuck people think they can haggle in an actual, brick-and-mortar retail establishment. This isn’t a garage sale, bitch, it’s business. Do these people go into Macy’s or some shit and be like, “Well, these throw pillows are nice, but $15 each is a little much. I’ll give you $25 for the pair.”

    Liked by 2 people

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