Do I get a tiara? Because I’m not lifting a goddamned finger without a tiara.

The Misfits are having their monthly business meeting.

President: “So now we need to elect a run captain for GLUE Weekend. This person will be responsible for overseeing the various committees and–”

Everyone Else: “THOMAS.”

President: “Okay, we’ve got a nomination. Does anyone second the–”

Everyone Else: “SECOND.”

President: “All in f–”

Everyone Else: “AYE.”

The Misfits pivot as one to bask in the radiant authority of the chosen sacrifice. In the distance, a wolf howls.

Me: “Balls.”


Looks like it’s time to up the psych meds and I guess buy a planner or something. Pray for me.

PS: I am deadly serious about the fucking tiara.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

2 thoughts on “Do I get a tiara? Because I’m not lifting a goddamned finger without a tiara.”

  1. I’d say you need a scepter or wand or something to carry around while wearing your tiara, but your notary paddle will likely be much more effective. Unless you use a violet wand. That might work, too.


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