Caution: Slippery When Launched at an Armored Car

Customer: [holding up a bottle of lube] “Do you carry this, except as a lube?”

Me: “Um… pardon me?”

Customer: “I’m looking for this product, except lube.”

Me: “That is lube.”

Customer: “It is?” [He stares at the container in his hand, eventually noticing the bright red “Silicone Lubricant” decal that runs its entire length.] “Oh, hey! This is lube!”

Part of me is desperate to know what he actually thought was in the bottle (Antifreeze? Silly String? Crystal Pepsi?), but the rest of me is just glad he didn’t think it was flammable, like the last time this happened.

Unless he thought it was lighter fluid. Or lamp oil. Or a prêt-à-porter Molotov cocktail.

Something tells me I’m going to be printing out some very inane warning labels in the near future.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

4 thoughts on “Caution: Slippery When Launched at an Armored Car”

  1. I don’t understand. The fact that he wanted that particular product “as a lube” indicates that he recognized the product somehow. I would assume by reading it. So, how did he miss the words “silicon lubricant” on the bottle? Was it scented and he just picked up that one word? Did it have a pretty picture on it? I NEED TO KNOW.

    Liked by 1 person

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