I Have Confidence and a Competitive Bodybuilder

[A conversation between myself and Rusty, my terribly attractive nutritionist/personal trainer.]

Rusty: “I googled that contest you’re going to.”

Me: “Oh, you did?”

Rusty: “Yeah.”

Me: “So… what do you think?”

Rusty: “It’s a beauty pageant.”

Me: “… Yes. Yes, it is.”


Rusty: [leaning in close for emphasis] “We’ve. Got. This.”

To sum up, a beautiful man thinks I’m going to do well at IML, which is a win by itself as far as I’m concerned. So now I’m just trying to figure out how to incorporate this into my application — maybe I’ll attach a picture of him all pumped up and sweaty and caption it something like, “This dude says I’m the prettiest.”

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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