In which I comprehend why Seymour fed the plant. I would totally feed the plant right now.

The company where I work during the day is in the process of “restructuring,” which for me means getting bumped into an admin/support role and taking a massive hit to my salary. “The position is yours if you want it,” my boss told me with a warm, encouraging smile, and the message between the lines was written in red ink: If I didn’t want it, I would no longer have a job, period.

All this a mere six weeks before I get to bankrupt myself on a not-thrifty trip to Chicago.

To quote Rosemary Edghill, if it was fair, you wouldn’t know it was life.

I went into survival mode as soon as I received the glorious news: cancelling my streaming and Evil Supply Co. subscriptions, applying for an emergency loan, using a portion of it to clear the balances on my credit cards, transferring the rest into an interest-bearing savings account, and redirecting my Forge paychecks to supplement my bi-weekly pittance. The silver lining here is that the new position will be a lot less stressful than what I’ve been doing, so I’ll finally have some extra energy to reflect on my career trajectory. And hey, who knows? I might even decide what I want to be when I grow up.

In the past I’ve dabbled in online signing agent courses, which, if completed, would basically make me a high-priced notary with superpowers. Dream job. Thing is, buckling down and getting everything in place for certification requires money, which I’m deathly afraid to spend on anything not related to basic nutrition or rent. But, at the same time, the faster I snag my certification, the faster I can start taking assignments and get my income back above the poverty line.

I did a quick geomantic reading on the quandary and got “calm the fuck down” as an answer. Awesome. So… I guess the goals of the moment are to a) stay off of Etsy, and b) set the panicky future-casting aside and deal with whatever’s right in front of me at any given time, until circumstances or unexpected windfalls eventually dictate otherwise.

Y’know, I feel like this whole situation could’ve been easily avoided if I’d just gone to law school like my mom wanted me to. I really hate it when she’s right.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

8 thoughts on “In which I comprehend why Seymour fed the plant. I would totally feed the plant right now.”

  1. I dunno, how many lawyers get to both take a vaccation to see a leather pageant AND get to compete with their real face?
    “Objection, your honnor! My opponent cannot be both a fancy-pants lawyer and leather-pants royalty! The rules say one pair of pants at a time!”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you can get two of your friends to buy a setting of lights, I’ll give you one for friend 😉

    What are the paralegal requirements in Texas? Go for that, take night school and than decide on being a lawyer…or find a night school, slowly do the courses for high level notary and get that. and maybe your pay cut may turn into a raise. After all, you are a notary

    Liked by 1 person

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