I do NOT live for the applause, Ms. Germanotta. Not any longer.

Customer: “Having fun yet?”

Me: “I am. It’s been a good night.”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve been out there entertaining the crowd, but now it’s time for the long walk home.”

Me: “Well, you have a great evening.”

Customer: “I only live three blocks away.”

Me: “Oh, okay, cool. A short walk, then.”

Customer: “You know, with your hands being the size they are, you could probably get both of them in me and clap.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “And again, I’m only three blocks away. If that’s your thing.”

Me: “It’s… really not.”

Customer: “Oh.”

[awkward slience]

Customer: “It was the clapping comment, huh?”

Me: “Yeah. It was.”

Customer: “Understandable. Understandable.”

But hey, at least he’s open to constructive criticism. As opposed to just being… y’know… open.

I’m going to think about anything else now.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

2 thoughts on “I do NOT live for the applause, Ms. Germanotta. Not any longer.”

  1. Honestly, I’m not sure if he was commenting on how gaping his anus is, or telling you that you have tiny hands. Either way, not a good start. Whatever happened to, “Hi, you seem cool. Wanna grab coffee, sometime?” WHY DO WE GOTTA GO STRAIGHT TO FISTING?

    I blame video games.

    Liked by 3 people

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