Price Queen

Customer 1: [holding up a chrome cock ring] “What is this?”

Customer 2: “That’s a cock ring.”

Customer 1: “What’s a cock ring?”

Customer 2: [explains graphically]

Customer 1: “Oh.”

[He looks at the price tag.]

Customer 1: “$35?! [glaring accusingly] That is WAY too much for a cock ring!”

Have you ever seen a movie or read a comic book where the protagonists are thrown into an alternate reality, and after they save the universe and things return to normal, everyone magically forgets what happened and is like, “I had the oddest dream…” except for one person who just smiles knowingly? I think the Forge got sucked into a wormhole and landed in a dystopian future, and after we fought courageously in the Great Genitalia Accessory Rebellion, we returned to the present a split-second after we first disappeared with our memories wiped. Customer 1 is the only one who remembers our transdimensional journey, and has now dedicated his life to preventing an apocalypse and ushering in the Aeon of Budget-Friendly Dick Bling.

Or maybe he overcompensates for ignorance with huffiness. But I’m totally rooting for the time travel explanation.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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