Click All The Links, Buy All The Things (But only if you feel like it. No pressure. I don’t work on commission.)

It started innocuously enough: I wanted a key ring with my notary logo on it, so I traipsed over to Zazzle (a print-on-demand retail site for designers, artists, fringe nutjobs, etc.) and made one. And then I thought stickers might be cool, so I made some of those. And then I was like, “you know what would be awesome? A DomTopNotary T-shirt…” and suddenly it was like three months later and I’d created around 200 products, all of which I totally wanted to buy for myself.

Eventually, it occurred to me that other people might want to buy some of them too. And so, if you have disposable income and a differently-sane sense of humor, please join me in applauding the official grand opening of…

Dominion Topography Notary Solutions and Souvenirs!

A lot of these designs evolved out of nervous energy and aborted panic attacks (hence the myriad Anxiety Awareness products): I would need something to do with my hands, or need something soothing to pull my mind away from restless fatalism, so I would log in and start making shit until I calmed down. But I’m actually pretty proud of some of the stuff I’ve come up with. For example, I made a wristwatch for every esoteric Pride flag I could think of, and I snuck several kink-related items past the website’s (very forgiving, praise Lucifer) censors, who kindly looked the other way when I blatantly ripped off and vulgaraized Stranger Things. The Leather Pride section is fairly comprehensive, and it features one of my favorite items in the whole shop, which is a coffee mug emblazoned with something Robert Helms once shouted in the middle of a crowded diner in Dallas. (My other favorite items are here and here.)

There are of course inappropriate notary supplies all over the place, including sarcastic stamps and (Ye Gods but I’m in love with these) Hanky Code stamps, and I just added a line of knick-knacks for Pagan notaries. I’ve been working on a geomancy collection as well, and, because I know my readers, I’ve posted (you’re welcome) a Lesbian Seedling T-shirt.

To be honest, I really don’t care if any of this gear sells or not; I’m entertaining the hell out of myself making it, and I’ll continue to do so regardless of any profit or pop culture recognition. But with that understood, if I’m ever out in public and see someone wearing this shirt, I will lose my damn mind and die of ecstati-seizures… so, okay, maybe don’t buy that one. In fact, just go with the one that’s equally snarky but much less noticeable, and keep my delighted, screamy death off your conscience.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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