Would you stamp me? I’d stamp me.

Customer 1: “Do you carry butt plugs?”

Me: “No.”


Considering I’d just sold him what he insistently referred to as “gallons” of lube, I guess I assumed the proof of my willingness to facilitate fun was in the pudding. So to speak.

But then, later…

Customer 2: [observing the new “Beware of Notary” sign over the front counter] “So. you’re a notary?”

Me: “I am.”

Customer 2: “Huh. That’s… that’s kind of hot, actually. Just sitting back there… stamping things… mmm…”

You hear that, Customer 1? I bring all the fun. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m about to end up as part of a skin suit. Please postpone the plug hunt and send help.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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