Tonight, on a very special episode of Long Lost Family…

The CPA who found my briefcase called back this past Tuesday to report that one of the cleaning ladies in his building came across a bag “with some notary things in it.” I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I went ahead and rushed on over to inspect the discovery.

I was not to be disappointed.

#Reunited

My aluminum paddle, my leather ping-pong paddle, and the Ox-Ox were missing, but the Notarizer was happily waiting for me. Plus Rok, Tank and Carlisle all gave me replacement paddles before the original collection resurfaced, so I’m even more thwacky than I was before the burglary.

On the downside, that CPA will never hire me. (The “Let Me Show You How the Guards Used to Do It” button on the side of the bag kind of dinged my professional credibility.) But hey, at least now he knows where to go if he’s ever a bad little boy who needs to be punished. Diversifying into niche markets always pays off in the end.