The Seventh Notary Seal

Apropos of nothing, but I finally found a decent study guide for my signing agent certification classes.

Come to think of it, I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of usable information on acknowledgements and affirmations in the Necronomicon.

Team Luddite for the Barter

Customer: “Do you take those new-fangled… what do you call ’em… debit cards?”

I am not looking forward to explaining the dark sorcery of the chip reader.

I Need a Sorting Hat and a Meeting

Customer: “I love your pendant!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer: “DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!”

Me: “…Oh.”

Customer: “Which house are you?”

Me: “Um, this is actually a recovery symbol…”

Customer: [angrily] “Well I know that. But it looks like Harry Potter.”

Note to self: Just say Hufflepuff next time.

Demographics of Errors

Straight girl: “Oh my God, look at the name of this product!”

Me: [GAY GLARE]

Straight girl: “That’s excellent branding!”

Me: [fizzle]

People with PR and/or marketing backgrounds should really be more identifiable to each other. We need a secret handshake or something.

Pop Quiz

Question: How many times will a drunk customer walk into the same display case before he realizes it’s there?

(Hint: Five. Five fucking times.)