Circuit Breaker

Customer: “Those little electrical boxes you sell in your main store are great, but they need to have multiple switches, so that you can control more than one device at a time.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I appreciate the feedback.”

Customer: “Yeah. You’ve gotta crank it all the way up for your butt plug to get, like, BLAAAAARGH.” [He shakes violently for effect.] “But then it’s way too intense for your nipples. You know?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But that’s just me. That’s just my opinion.”

An ex-boyfriend of mine used to work at Barnes and Noble, and he was always going on about the intimate nature of his job. He’d be like, “A woman came in today and bought a book on coping with divorce! Man, it can be pretty unnerving to learn so much about people when you’re just trying to help them.” While I hold no resentments over that particular relationship, it is nice to know that there’s no way in hell he could handle my life.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

3 thoughts on “Circuit Breaker”

  1. Honestly, I would be much more comfortable talking to someone about my sex life than some of my non-fiction, instructional/reference book purchases. A few years ago, I bought a “Starting and Etsy Shop for Dummies” book and the girl started asking me what I make and want to sell and stuff and I just stumbled out some gibberish while thinking, “I don’t want to disappoint you, but I’m only buying this so I feel like I might eventually do something semi-productive with my life. I just hoard books about being an independent grown up to make myself feel better about being a failure of an adult.”

    It is way easier to say that I much prefer to wield and instrument of mild torture than be on the receiving end, because the sounds people make are #TheBest.

    Liked by 1 person

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