Adopting Standards

Customer. “Well, hello!”

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “Are you for sale?”

[Inner Me: Did he just call me a hooker?]

Me: “I am off the market.”

Customer: “Is that negotiable?”

Me: “Alas, it is not.”

Customer: “That’s a shame.”

[Inner Me: The fuck it is.]

Me: [neutral smile]

Customer: “You’re probably too young for me anyway. How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 42.”

Customer: “Oh, my God, you’re a baby.”

Me; “Uh… thank you?”

Customer: “My youngest son is your age.”

Me: “Ah. Well, then.”

Customer: “Oh! We could be incestuous!”

And now I will never get “Dueling Banjos” out of my head. Thanks a lot, bad dad.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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